" "My courage gave out. I wonder if he really wants me to go home. Sydney and Brendon vied with one another in their efforts to engage Anna in conversation, and Miss Ellicot, during the momentary lull, deemed it a favourable opportunity to recommence siege operations. She shattered the edifice he was building up of himself as a devoted lover, waiting only his chance to win her from a hopeless and consuming passion. I was rude and stupid. Hobson, the Phys. I am dreadfully sad. It does sound a little horrid to talk so much about oneself and to have views. Afterward goes on to Oxford. I’ve been thinking, you know—I’m not sure that primarily the perception of beauty isn’t just intensity of feeling free from pain; intensity of perception without any tissue destruction. So many distresses— so many joys coming at the same time are too much for me. The dream flowers and is harvested, and we are left by the wayside, having served our singular purpose in the scheme of progress: as the orange is tossed aside when sucked of its ruddy juice. We are not animals.
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